There will come a time when we all will be hurt by someone. When this time comes, you must learn to forgive them. Some people just don’t know any better.
But how can they not know better? Well, they don’t realize that they’ve hurt you, because they are too consumed with themselves and what it is that they want. They are full of pride.
The Bible tells us that pride is the evil way.
The [reverent] fear and worshipful awe of the Lord includes the hatred of evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way, And the perverted mouth, I hate.” - Proverbs 8:13 AMP
Forgiveness is hard, but it will release you from emotional ties to the person and to the situation. Forgiveness is your healing. It shifts the focus off of them and onto yourself.
Staying focused on them and what they did to hurt or offend will keep you in torture. Despising them will only keep you from your healing.
Keep them at a distance. Guard your heart. Set boundaries and pray for them. Is it hard to pray for those who hurt you? Yes!! But through God’s strength, you can, because his power is made perfect in our weakness!! (Read 2nd Corinthians 12:9).
When someone dismisses your value, disrespects you, or makes you feel invisible, Forgive them!! Pray for God to reveal his truth to them and open their eyes. Pray that he will cause them to realize their mistake and repent. Pray that they would accept salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ and choose to follow him.
Don’t dwell on the way they left you feeling. Trust that God has gone before you. He knew this would happen and he is redirecting you in order to protect you. The desires of our own hearts are generally not his best for us.
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
Many people take this scripture (Psalm 37:4) out of context. I know that I have. There was a time when I read this and thought it meant, if I follow God he will give me the desires of my heart. But, as I grew in the Lord, I learned that my interpretation of this word was incorrect. It was not about what I wanted or desired. It was about God’s plans for me and what he wants for me.
When we “delight in the Lord” we have righteous desires. Delighting in the Lord means we are aligning ourselves with what God wants for us. And isn’t that far greater!? God is our protector and he knows what is best for us far more than we ever could imagine!
“Whoever goes to the Lord for safety, whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty, can say to him, “You are my defender and protector. You are my God; in you I trust.” He will keep you safe from all hidden dangers and from all deadly diseases. He will cover you with his wings; you will be safe in his care; his faithfulness will protect and defend you.”Psalm 91:1-4 GNTD
Father God, Thank you for loving us and protecting us. You are our refuge and we thank you for keeping us safe from the dangers that we do not see. Father you created us to love and fellowship with others, you created us for relationship. Father God, when we are left hurt or confused by others who cause us to feel unworthy, disrespected or just not enough, remind us that your plans are far greater than anything we could ever desire or imagine for ourselves. Help us to trust in you Lord. Change our hearts and our desires so that they are one in the same with what you want for us. Remove anything that is not from you from our lives and our paths. Lord, give us the strength to pray for those who hurt us, because we know that many times they are not aware of what they are doing. And in the times that they are aware, we know that they are far too weak to do the right thing. We thank you that our strength comes from you Lord. We know that we can do all things through your strength alone. Strengthen us so that we may always do that which is right, and that which is your will. Father, we thank you for your protection and for your redirection. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I love to write. Words have always come easy for me when written. Verbally, I can’t articulate my thoughts as coherently, so finding words to express myself in a face to face conversation can be a challenge sometimes. I’m not quite sure why that is, but I think it’s partially due to the fact that my brain is constantly overthinking. Since my mind is always racing with thoughts, similarly of course, my heart is always full of the emotions my thoughts bring forth. Writing allows me time to sort and organize my thoughts and feelings.
I started this blog to encourage others and to share my own person journey of growth. To show my readers that God doesn’t expect perfection and that we should never feel alone or unworthy. But, somehow along the way I felt like I became a failure to God and I lost my voice. My words became utter confusion and I was incapable of writing anything that I felt would bless another.
A Christian is a follower of Christ and as Christians we strive to “Live like Jesus”, but as humans we will always fall short.
And I did. I became pregnant in December, 2017 with my 2nd child out of wedlock. The church teaches that sex before marriage is a sin and due to that I felt unworthy. I knew God loved me, but I felt that I failed in following him the way he desired I should. I always thought that you were supposed to be married to have children. Yet in my search for love as an unwed woman, I gave birth to two beautiful girls who are 21 years apart.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13
The birth of a child [new life] is one of the most beautiful treasures you will ever experience.
My girls are my world. There is no greater beauty to me than their lives. But, the enemy took hold of my mind and caused me to feel like I was a failure since I was unwed. I was at the end of my senior year in high school when I became pregnant with my firstborn, and with my second daughter I’d just turned 39, an age which I held myself accountable due to wanting to do it “the right way”.
After raising my first daughter as a single mom, I told myself that I’d wait until marriage if I were ever again blessed with the opportunity to have a second child, but it didn’t end up that way for me. I became pregnant and had my second daughter out of wedlock as well.
Did that make me a failure? Did it mean I failed God? I felt that way. But I longed for a bigger family and to have more children, so although part of me was scared and felt that I failed God again, having a new life growing within me made another part of me feel as though a hunger was filled.
My second pregnancy occurred at a time when I thought it would never again happen for me. At a time when I’d just found peace and the acceptance that I was only meant to have one child. Or so I thought…
Internally, I was happy at this chance to be a mom again, but fear consumed my mind. I battled thoughts of failure over not setting the proper example for my then college student. My feelings of being a failure to God and my daughter stole my ability so show my inner joy.
So many thoughts consumed my mind; would I end up a single mom again? Would this man and I ever get married? Was this the man God intended for me to build a family with? Would my daughter be angry with me? Would my daughter see me as a failure for teaching her one thing and then doing another? I was not leading by example.
My mind was so loud and I felt no peace. But I knew I had to be strong. Despite the internal battle going on, I knew God was with me and that he had a plan I couldn’t see.
My partner could not understand this spiritual battle I was having within and so my battle caused strain over our relationship. At a time when I should only display happiness and gratitude, I didn’t know how to.
As months passed my new precious baby girl grew in my womb. The first time I felt her move I knew that she was “life” and that she was meant to be here. Her life was precious and I realized she was not the result of my failure. She was a blessing.
When she was born I knew from the moment I set my eyes on her that she was my gift from God. My reminder that life and love are gifts from above. And just because they don’t come in the perfect package we expected them in, that doesn’t mean we should feel shame.
No one is free from sin. We are all flawed. So why did I battle with feeling as though I were less than another woman just because I was not married? Perhaps it was because my sin was visible for all to see while others hide behind their’s. Perhaps it was because I thought people would think there was a “way” to do it.
On this journey of becoming a new mom at the age of 39, I had to learn say, “So what!!” I came to see that I had to loose some close friends in order to be reminded that God didn’t think I was a failure. He loved me just as much as he ever had.
I ‘d been allowing guilt and condemnation to hang over me like a cloud, rather than just asking God to forgive me for my human weakness and to bless my precious gift. In the hospital, the first night I spent holding my little angel Caasi in my arms, I did just that. I gave God praise and thanks for this second chance to be a mom again. And I vowed to teach my baby girl of the Lord’s unfailing love and to always seek his will for her life as she grew.
Through loosing the bond with friends I thought were dear to me, I was reminded that no human on earth has the right to label another a failure. They aren’t the author of our story, and you know what else, neither are we. So I praise God today for his grace, patience and unfailing love.
God has the final say. And he loves us without conditions and has a plan for each of us! Jerimiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Today I know just how blessed I truly am. I wasn’t a failure for having my daughters out of wedlock. I was chosen by God to be a mother. He has purpose for my life and for the lives of both of my precious daughters. My joy overflows as I watch both of them grow into who God created for them to be.
ℝ𝕖𝕗𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟: Have you ever felt like you let someone down and failed them? How did you handle those feelings? Negative feelings are hard to process and many times we are far harder on ourselves than anyone else is. We all have goals and expectations for our lives. The next time you feel you failed at meeting one of these goals or expectations, try not to allow fear or condemnation to consume you. Remind yourself who you are, whose you are and just how strong you are with God.
Special Note to Mothers: Never forget that being a Mom takes strength, devotion, dedication and sacrificial love. Motherhood is both an honor and a blessing. When God chose you be Mom he gave you a purpose. Purpose that is greater than anything you could ever imagine. The purpose of motherhood is to love like Jesus: Moms love sacrificially and focus on our children. When days seem hard or near impossible, call upon the Lord. He will equip you with the strength needed to endure your situation. God blessed you with Motherhood because he knew you were capable and worthy of being called, Mama. Life is precious to God. Thank him for this calling and enjoy the beautiful journey!
Thank you for your unconditional, unfailingly love. Father thank you for the gift of life and the gift of motherhood. I lift up anyone right now in this moment who is battling feelings of failure, fear or feelings of unworthiness. Remind them today that you did not call us to be perfect, but you did call us to seek you as our savior and to allow you to lead our lives. Father remind all who are hurting that you will work all things out for their good if they seek you and call upon your name. Remind them that all life is precious. Strengthen and renew their spirits, Father God, so that they may walk in freedom and experience your love to the fullest.
It was such a difficult time in my life and I was struggling to hold myself together. I felt confused, conflicted and as if there was no one I could open up to. I didn’t feel like anyone could understand how I was feeling. I remembered how my younger self would share with all my friends (or those whom I thought were my friends), but I was now in a different place. Life taught me that the advice they all gave made my problems and confusion worse. I had to acknowledge the lesson my past taught me, so I held on for dear life in this internal struggle. My mind went in multiple directions as I sat there alone with tears burning my checks. Why was I here going through this? Why was I feeling this way? I know I am not who I used to be yet here I was in a situation I never imagined being in. Here I was reading insults from someone I thought was my friend…
Why is it that some feel the need to judge your mistakes or sins as if they never fall short?