It was 2017, and I sat in there in my school of ministry class at my church surrounded by individuals who inspired me and kept me encouraged. I listened attentively as some of them shared their personal experiences, I admired both their boldness and transparency. Why couldn’t I be like them and step out in faith? I wished I could do what they were doing and share all the raw details of my life. But was my story even worth telling? How could all I’ve been through inspire anyone when I was still struggling with my weaknesses?
I have never been one to speak in front of crowds. I connect better with individuals one on one or in small group settings. I find it hard to instantly share my thoughts without first processing them. Sometimes, I feel like this is a flaw, because by staying silent I am missing out on opportunities to connect. I disappoint myself due to this, but I am aware that I can’t be the only on with this struggle.
For those of us who are introverts or ambiverts, speaking to an entire class or large group can be quite uncomfortable. Why is it that some people can share so easily, while others struggle to find words verbally? I took some time to think about this.
I believe that I held back from engaging in class discussions at ministry school because I felt as though I didn’t have any wisdom to offer to this particular group. In other instances, I looked at people in conversation around me and just simply couldn’t relate to their discussions. If I couldn’t relate, how was I to contribute to their conversations?
When I started out on my personal journey of growth, I knew it would one day mean being open to allowing God to use me. But I battled with feeling ready.
I am blessed to have many people of faith in my life and love hearing the many ways that God has moved in their lives. In my ministry class, I was surrounded by brothers and sisters who, in my opinion, clearly had a calling on their lives. They seemed to be natural born leaders and somehow I don’t see those qualities within myself.
Do you ever struggle with believing in yourself like I have? Perhaps we make it harder than it has to be. I know for me personally, I have to try to get to a point where I overcome my fears. Talking in a group may not ever be one of my strong suits, but know I can’t allow it to cause me to feel less than.
Do you ever look at those around you and feel less than? As you can see I relate to that, but today I want to remind both you & myself that we are just as special as the person next to us who we keep comparing ourselves to. We are all gifted in different ways, so take some time to discover what your personal or spiritual gifts are and launch into using them.
Launching into your purpose and calling may not come easy, but when you step out in faith God will put all the pieces you need in your path in his perfect timing. My blog isn’t well known and I don’t have a huge following, but I have the peace of knowing that I was obedient to his calling and that my words will reach & uplift the very people God so desires them to reach.
I have come to realize that God will cause a fire to burn deep within until you surrender and commit to Christ, allowing him to take over. That is how I started my blogging journey. He would tug at my heart as I lay in bed late at night and tell me, it’s time to begin Sandy. His voice became louder and louder until I put my fear aside and just began. I had to stop comparing my journey to the journey of others.
If God kept calling me to write, I needed to be reminded that he is only asking for faith as small as a mustard seed. I had to step out in faith and obey. It was time to stop comparing myself to others.
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Galatians 6:4-5 MSG
Jesus desires for us to stop denying our ability to answer the calling within and accept that he is our leader. We are called to follow him and allow him to lead. When God is calling you to do something that you ignore, the Holy Spirit will speak louder and allow that calling to burn within until you have no choice but to obey.
He is calling ME and YOU! It may not always come in the way you expect it to because he reveals it his way, but recognize that your calling comes as a force you can’t ignore. It will wake you up in the middle of the night until you take action. When you stop ignoring the whisper in your ear and the tugging on your heart, that is when you truly will begin to be launched into your purpose. Are you ready to surrender?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
Father God,
Thank you for the gifts that you alone have placed in each one of your children. You are our creator, remind us that you created each of us with a purpose to fulfill. Whenever we find ourselves comparing our journey to others, shift our thinking Oh God and help us to believe in ourselves. Father, light a fire in our souls that will burn us to the point that we must move. Father, launch us into our purposes. Give us the obedience to answer our callings even when we are afraid and unsure of what it is exactly you desire for us to do or say.
In Jesus name, we come against the spirit of fear and cast out all anxiety that is holding us back from walking into our purposes. We want to be your vessel. Use us Lord, even in our brokenness. For we know that you will put all the pieces you need in place in your perfect timing. Your plans are to give us a future and a hope. Have your way Father. May we surrender all to you today & every day to come.
In Jesus mighty name we pray, Amen!
Growing with you,
Sandy
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