Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

When you make a mistake, you must be kind to yourself, and give yourself the same grace you would allow another person. But for me, showing myself kindness is an area I personally know I need a lot of improvement in. I’m hard on myself when I make a mistake and I find it easier to forgive others than to forgive myself.

I am on a journey of healing, so this means, seeking to learn why forgiving myself and having grace for myself is so difficult.

When I make a mistake, I tend to call myself names, and sometimes those around me have heard it. I’ve called myself dumb, I’ve asked myself what is wrong with you, I’ve apologized to others, and I’ve spent hours stuck in mind battle trying to understand how I could make such a “stupid mistake”.

Let’s just say I treat myself worse than I would treat any other human being who has made a mistake. Even the simple ones. Being hard on myself can be because I hold myself to a higher standard than I hold others, or because I’ve had others say those very things to me. But no matter what the reasoning or source is, I’ve realized this is no longer acceptable and must change.

The Bible says our tongues hold the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21), and while I try my best not to use my tongue to degrade others, sadly, I can’t say the same for the way I have used my words or thoughts towards myself.

Yesterday, I felt Holy Spirit speaking strong to me telling me, it’s time to begin changing this. This happened after making what I felt was a crazy & ridiculous mistake. I felt lead to spend time trying to understand why is it truly easier for me to forgive others over myself. I felt lead to ask myself: “Do you think they deserve forgiveness more than you do? And the answer was no. They most certainly did not deserve forgiveness more than I did. And, I was not any more unworthy than they were.

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.

Proverbs 12:17

When we apply this Bible verse inwardly, we learn that us being hard on ourselves, ultimately only hurts ourselves.

If you are someone who tries to practice showing kindness to others, why do you do it? Is it because you don’t like hurting others? Is it because you want to be seen as a good person? Is it because you know it is just morally or biblically wrong not to be kind to others?…These are some of the things I’ve had to self reflect on.

Why are some of us able to protect others, yet we have no personal boundaries set to protect ourselves from our very own self-directed insults?

We are human. We will all make mistakes.

The above statement is something I have been told many times from both friends and family members.

If you’re someone like me who is hard on yourself, try to remind yourself of this when your thoughts start to move in before you place yourself on trial. YOU ARE HUMAN, ALL HUMANS MAKE MISTAKES. Let’s remind ourselves that there was only one perfect man who walked earth, and that was our savior Jesus Christ.

Going forward may we learn to allow mistakes to be an opportunity for personal reflection and growth.

May we begin to cut off the insults instantly, before we allow them to take root in our minds and become in-planted lies we believe. Doing this will take discipline and will not come easy at first. However, I have committed myself to begin doing the work to get to the point where I will see myself through God’s eyes. Will you make this commitment to yourself with me today?

Love is patient and kind.

1 Corinthians 13:

Let’s loves ourselves and be patient and kind to ourselves.

Jesus calls us to be humble and put others before ourselves. But this doesn’t mean we are called not to be humble towards ourselves and it doesn’t mean be harder on ourselves allowing negative self thoughts to take root. We all are God’s children. Our lives are a gift. So let’s learn to recognize when we aren’t extending to ourselves the same grace which we extend to others.

I know I’ve got to do better and be a better example to my daughters. Because I would never want them being hard on themselves or unkind to themselves. If you can relate, please leave a comment or contact me directly and let me know!! My prayer is that you too would learn to show yourself kindness. 🙏

~Growing with you, Sandy

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness
is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:26

Pray with me:

Father God, we thank you for your love. For loving us even during the times we aren’t loving ourselves. Father forgive us for not seeing ourselves the way you see us. Forgive us for the word curses we have spoke over ourselves without knowing that was what we were doing. Give us wisdom so that kindness will begin to flow from our tongues. May kind thoughts of ourselves run through our minds. In Jesus name, I declare the word curses we placed over ourselves are now broken. I decree that we will begin to show ourselves the same grace, mercy and kindness we extend to others. Holy Spirit, I ask that you move in and heal the hearts, minds and spirits of your people. Father God, remind them who they are.

Brothers and sisters pray these words to God right now with me: I am smart and not dumb. I am wise and not stupid. A set back does not mean I am stuck in this place of disappointment. I will reflect on why the instance, circumstance or situation happened the way it did. And I will get back up and acknowledge my mistake and try again. Maybe that means rescheduling the meeting, budgeting better and redoing finances, studying harder and retaking the test, correcting an error and resubmitting the application, pick yourself up and try again!!

Father God, we thank you for Holy Spirit conviction and for reminding us we can learn from setbacks and mistakes. Holy Spirit,lead us on this journey. Lord Jesus, remind us to love and show kindness to ourselves in the same way you do to us. We know only you are able, in your mighty name we pray, Amen.